Hello 2020 Be careful of your heart this year Don’t let yourself give in to rage and fear Be careful of your time Don’t waste your life And try your best to be kind Hello 2020 ’19 wasn’t funny though it still felt like a joke I hope this year I’m woke I’ve read that if you are running down a path Don’t focus on the obstacles ahead You should focus on where you want your feet to land Hello 2020 ’19 wasn’t funny though it still felt like a joke I hope this year I’m woke

Be Kind / This Is Water Sisyphus pushed a big rock up a hill Only to watch it roll back down again Sometimes parenting feels a lot like that I walk my kids to school at 8:15 and pick them up at 3:00 And all day in between, I stand at a table saw and workbench I build things for people around town Today I built a table for a woman who is 63… Just lost her husband to cancer And when I dropped it off, do you know what she said to me? She said, “The little things like taking out the trash or eating alone or grocery shopping are like pushing a rock up a hill.” David Foster Wallace gave a speech at Kenyon College It’s called “This Is Water” And it’s one of the best takes on empathy I’ve ever heard It’s a reminder to be kind Everybody’s pushing a big rock up a hill Everybody’s watching it roll back down again Everybody’s pushing a big rock up a hill

Bluebirds Bluebirds dancing in the backyard Bluebirds dancing in the backyard Blue jay chasing a sparrow Grey squirrel running on a sycamore Grey squirrel running on a sycamore Grey sky… January rain The piano in our room Where our oldest child plays And our youngest sits and draws on a page With a smile on his face If I could only freeze this day With my Bluebirds

The President just dropped a bomb and killed a horrible man All my life I have been taught “two wrongs don’t make a right.” These are the things that keep me up at night “Love it patient, love is kind, it does not boast, it does not envy, it is not proud”* Does that sound like the kind of man all these Christians gather around? I’m asking for a friend… *(1 Corinthians 13:4)

Jury Duty / Keith Killed His Family I don’t have a lot of energy to write a song tonight So I’m just going to free associate Half music, half spoken word And I know the whole thing is absurd 17 year old Denison would have never put up with something like this Even now I’m not so sure but here we are I was summoned for jury duty today So my wife drove me downtown I grabbed a coffee at my friends café And I walked over to the courthouse And found my seat – Juror #85 There was audible complaining in the room It was clear that no one wanted to be there So they had a judge come in and talk about our civic duty And you could feel a change in the air Even I was wanting to be picked for a jury Then they called my number In the middle of 40 others They said that we would shortly move up to a courtroom We were going to hear about a criminal case Something about sexual violence and child abuse And I started to feel uneasy…thinking about the things that humans do to each other And the hubris and violence of men They took us to the courtroom They sat us in a line They said, “We’re going to ask you all some questions… Just about an hour more of your time. Have you or anyone close to you ever been a victim of sexual violence?” And to my surprise half the room stood up Each person with their own story I mean that’s an outrageous number People are crazy Even I have my own story I was in the 7th grade I went to a local elementary Mennonite school And one of my best friends there went on a rage And to this day I don’t think he knows what happened himself Anyway, I was invited over to his house To play games and watch Monty Python But I couldn’t make it over that night And then I’ll tell you what happened The next morning when I came downstairs My mom was sitting on the couch With a newspaper in her lap And she was in tears She said, “Your friend Keith did something horrible last night. He took is parents’ and his sister’s life and tried to rape his cousin in a barn.” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing I said, “But mom, I was supposed to be there last night.” She said, “I know, the cops are on their way. They’re going to ask you a lot of questions. I’ll be here to hold your hand. Just be honest and tell them what you can.” I didn’t really have that much to say I didn’t understand the situation And to this day I can’t make sense of it And I haven’t seen Keith since He used to call me from the prison I remember the phone on my parents’ kitchen wall Ringing and then picking it up And a pre-recorded message: “This is a collect call. Do you accept the charges?” Keith called me all through high school And I always tried to make the time to talk Though I always felt a deep sadness inside because the older I got We only talked about the same things from 7th grade Like we were frozen in place Anyway, I didn’t tell the lawyers or the judge about this story I didn’t think it would keep me from being fair or impartial I mean it happened so long ago And I’ve tucked it away somehow They didn’t need me for the jury They up and sent me home Maybe they didn’t think I had what it takes I really don’t know But it’s ok with me I’m glad that I’m home tomorrow It’s my youngest son’s 4th birthday I’ll probably bake a chocolate cake And be thankful for our lives And pray to God that none of us get crazy Or become a victim of a crime

Slow Motion Snow Slow motion snow falls from the sky I pull the covers over my eyes Out in the hallway my youngest child cries He comes to our room and leaves with my wife Every day The incoming sound of my oldest child’s feet He climbs in my bed and puts them on me I roll away, I say, “Your feet freeze!” He laughs and says, “You’re so warm, dad.” and falls back asleep Now I lay awake and thoughts fill my mind Have I made good use of my friendships and time? I take day by day All you can do is try Slow motion snow falls from the sky

Something Out Of Nothing The last book I read was Trick Mirror by Jia Tolentino Gave it to my wife for Christmas this year I haven’t felt all that creative for the last couple days I don’t know what it is I heard the planets are in retrograde So I scrolled through my phone I felt lonely and alone What a stupid thing to do Scrolling mindlessly is a creative killer It doesn’t go anywhere except further into itself Which doesn’t really go anywhere Then your night is gone I tried to figure out a song by Salena Gomez I thought it would make my kids laugh Instead I read about Florence Pugh and Zach Braff But then I sat down with my guitar And no/though I didn’t get very far This is what I came up with And I know it's not very good But I made something out of nothing Which is more than where my night was going I made something out of nothing I made something

Put it outside with a “FREE” sign I guess I thought, “enough is enough.” Hoping somebody might drive by and stop and put it in their truck I probably won’t miss it very much Everybody has got so much extra stuff So much extra junk

The oldest tambourine I’ve ever played had a clear dark sound I think about the music that we made in that Poulsbo House Brianna and her sister Caithlyn, Andrea, Deborah, Jordan, and Ben And so many other friends 2001 was so much fun Tonight I feel so sentimental The morning light that stretched across the yard Leading to the woodshop barn The back bathroom that never had a wall Chair marks on the soft pine floors Upright piano in the living room We all stood around a single microphone And sang one of my own songs together We sang “I have finally found a lamp to light my way. I have finally found a way to speak my mind” If you could go back, what would you change? Not a single thing Tonight I feel so sentimental

Walking In The Miracle I was walking down the street today When a tree branch fell in front of me It exploded on the sidewalk I looked around and I couldn’t talk If I was just two steps ahead It would have come down on my head I could be injured or could be dead But I’m still walking through the miracle I’m out here walking through the miracle I have become so cavalier Taking for granted my time here 2004 in San Diego Week long rehearsal at a studio I played guitar and bass and banjo For a string of Sufjan Stevens’ shows I went out walking on lunch break I crossed the street to a Goodwill A car came speeding around the corner And it brushed against my leg We both stopped and we made eye contact They apologized and we both carried on I went into the Goodwill Just as they were setting out a Wurlitzer 200A electric piano I paid $150 and walked it back across the street I showed the rest of the band and the studio owner He told me I would be the envy of every musician in San Diego Coming to town and scoring such a great instrument right under their noses But I was still thinking about that car How that moment would have changed everything So I never told the band I guess I didn’t want to bother them We drove the west coast in a miracle We made music in the miracle I kept walking in the miracle I’m still walking in the miracle

Incandescent Light Incandescent Light I’m down in my basement late a night Working thoughts out on my own I don’t have much to say So I’m just going to look around the room And say what I see in front of me Four record covers in cheap ikea frames A Harmony tenor acoustic guitar my wife trash-picked one day An old tour poster from a record I released in 2008 A hand-drawn picture of my friend William and I on stage New Orleans House Of Blues A red toy piano that my friend Andy bought me at a thrift store he said it made him think of me A statue of St. Francis that I purchased from a friend who works at a antique shop outside of Detroit A rats nest of cables...computer and recording stuff and it’s all in a big pile on my floor A rhyming dictionary. I thought I’d use it more than I do. I heard it’s a good writing tool A Stanley tape measure. It seems like they just follow me around. I’m a carpenter and I need a tape measure all the time. A picture of Jennie in a tan jacket and purple scarf, holding a coffee mug in South Philadelphia Anyway -- I could do this all night but I don’t have the time so…. January 19 2020 (Side note - It's Dolly Parton’s birthday. I started listening to a podcast about her and learned that on her birthday) Anyway… Tonight was the last of my family Christmas get togethers and my kids ate so much sugar. We got back home late and I told them we don't have time to read books and they both felt upset with me Then I thought, “What kind of parent tells their child they can’t read? Another 30 minutes shouldn’t make a difference anyway on a night you’re already up so late. Everybody needs a little time to unwind and slow down their minds.” So I made them a deal. I said, “I hear how you feel. I’m going to go downstairs and try to record a song. It shouldn’t take me very long. When I’m done, I’ll come back upstairs and into your room. I’ll climb into your bed. We’ll close your book. I’ll kiss you on the head. I’ll sing you some songs until you fall asleep. I probably will too, like I usually do. Around 3:30 AM, I’ll wake up and climb down out of your bunk bed

Which Way Which way back home will you go? Which way back home do you know? There’s a fire in my heart There’s a fire in my head Which way will you go back home?

How It Makes Me Feel I’ve been thinking a lot about patience today How everything has its own timing How to trust it How to follow and idea but also lead the way I’ve been thinking a lot about patience today Two years ago, my fans gave me money to make a record Let me tell you how that made me feel First thing I felt was gratitude, of course. How couldn’t I? Second thing I felt was responsibility and desire to give something I believe in and give it back to them Made me think a lot about process those days Spent a lot of money on musicians and studios Tried my best to write the best songs I possibly could Something a lot of creative types might not tell you is about the time in between When you finish your project and when it’s finally released It feels like it sits inside of you and starts to scream, “LET ME OUT!” So now down here in my basement I think I’m having some kind of reaction I need something fast -- Some kind of instant satisfaction Less about the music and more about the words Or maybe it’s Less about the words and more about how it makes me feel

Mapped Out All the stars above you All the ground below you Everything around Is mapped out on a grid Tell me all about you Tell me what you love All the things you’ve done And things that you undid I’m 43 I still don’t know what I want to be Do you remember how it felt when your parents let go of the seat and your bike was swerving, handlebars all over… and you thought you’d end up out in the street? You found your balance and you rode out into the world I have two kids now My dreams are somewhere between my own and theirs There’s no other way to say it except, “I care.” Tell me all about you Your history What you did and what you undid Don’t let your life be mapped out on a grid

Kobe Bryant Kobe Bryant You've got the whole city crying Over you When I was 23 I lived in Philadelphia next to a restaurant named Kobe I don’t know if its true, but the story I was told Was your parents saw the sign and then named you I always thought that was cute Now I’m so blue I think about your wife and all of your daughters The one who was with you Her friend and her friend’s parents too And the helicopter in a gray sky I wish that it was blue Now I’m so blue Kobe Bryant You've got the whole city crying Over you

It's Okay To Live A Quiet Life It’s okay to live your life as quietly as you want It’s okay to disappear for awhile if you need You don’t have to prove a thing to yourself or anyone You don’t have to prove a thing It’s okay live your life As quietly as you want It’s okay live your life As quietly as you need You don’t have to prove a thing to yourself or anyone You don’t have to prove a thing Maybe you should let go Fall free

Not Feigning Ignorance I don’t feel like finding out So i’m not going to ask Is this what they mean by “life comes at you fast” I’m not feigning ignorance I just think that it’s better for me right now I’m not feigning ignorance I just think that it’s better

True Love Whose heart are you looking for? Is it mine, love? Whose heart are you looking for? yours or mine, love? Is it me? Is it you? Are you true love? I’ve always seen my life like a piano, love decisions laid before me in a line, love And you can choose You can make your own song, love But its true sometimes it’s a dissonant mess And I have to admit sometimes I like that Do you have regrets? I have a few love Do you have regrets? I have a few love But not with you You are true You are true love

Constitutional Crisis Constitutional Crisis Imagine you were choking on a meal Looking all around the room Not knowing what to do People staring back at you They told you, “The answer is right here… The doctor is in the next room.” But they didn’t want to get up And lose their seat at the table And help you even though they are able And help you even though they can Really? What the fuck, man?! What the actual fuck, man?!

Tired Metaphor Stars in the sky Gone long before both you and I A river runs dry Gone long before both you and I An idea is never born and never dies 100% of zero is zero That’s what I’ve found An apple falls down Becoming a tree or becoming ground An idea passed through me and onto you An idea passed through you and onto me So I went to the mountain I climbed to the top and I turned around And I thought to myself, “You sure covered a lot of ground” A tired metaphor That’s what I came, that’s what I stayed here for A tired metaphor That’s what I came and I stayed here for